


We're Not In Lothering Anymore...

by katiebour



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-21
Updated: 2011-07-21
Packaged: 2017-10-21 14:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiebour/pseuds/katiebour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone on the k!meme asked for famous classic scenes redone in the DA!verse- only after I'd written it did I realize that the OP wanted romance. Since this bit of crack doesn't belong there, I'll just pop it up here for fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not In Lothering Anymore...

Kit Hawke stepped back, uncertainly, and looked around at the Blight-ravaged lands around her, certain for a single moment that she heard music and violins.  The ogre must have hit her harder than she thought-

She turned to her mabari, Rand, and said nervously, "Rand, I don't think we're in Lothering anymore..."

The dog barked sympathetically, wagging his stump of a tail, and she gave him a wan smile.  "Well, at least there are trees over there, right?  We must be over the border, and into the Wilds!"

She started, suddenly, at a noise above her, shocked to see a dragon alight on the peak.  It swooped down and landed, then melted and merged into a strangely beautiful woman.

"Now I _know_ we're not in Lothering anymore," she muttered to the suspicious mabari.

The woman advanced on her with a smile, and said, "Well, well, what have we here?  Are you a good witch, or a bad witch, hmm?"

Kit looked around innocently, trying to pretend the staff strapped to her back wasn't glowing with magical runes.  "Who, me?" she said, widening her eyes for maximum effect.  "Why, I'm not a witch at all."

The wounded Templar, Wesley, glared at her from his supine position on the ground.   _Shit_ , she thought, and turned back to the dragon-woman.  "I'm Kit Hawke, from Lothering."

The dragon woman laughed, eyes going to the mabari at her side.  "Well, is _that_ the witch then?"  She cackled.

Kit eyed the woman with a mixture of mistrust and confusion.  Rand was quite obviously a _mabari_ \- had this dragon-woman lost her mind?  "Who, Rand?" she answered, weakly.  "Rand's my dog."

The dragon woman snickered.  "Well, I'm a little muddled.  I saw spells being cast, a mighty ogre vanquished.  There's the ogre-" she pointed with her staff- "And here _you_ are," she smirked, "And that's all that's left of the ogre."  She pointed to the ogre's oddly stylish, shining ruby boots.  "And so, what I want to know is, are you a good witch or bad witch?"

Kit stuck to her story.  "But I've already told you, I'm not a witch at all!  Witches are old, and ugly-"

She heard the red-headed woman snicker from behind her.  "What's so amusing, Aveline?"

The woman laughed, a bit hysterically.  "I know what _she_ is," the soldier said, pointing to the dragon-woman.  "She's a Witch of the Wilds."

"Some call me that," the dragon-woman acknowledged with a smirk, "Also Flemeth, Asha'bellanar- an old woman who talks too much-"

"You are?" Kit said weakly.  "I beg your pardon," she said, curtseying awkwardly.  "But I've never heard of a...ahem, beautiful witch before."

Flemeth rolled her eyes at the obvious flattery.  "Only bad witches are ugly," she smirked.


End file.
